Ten Days In Silence: My Vipassana Adventure

(Vipassana pronounced vi–PAH–shun–a …or… vi-PA-shun-a)

I wrote this shortly after the experience. I attended this retreat in the summer of 2005.
Vipassana is a meditation technique that I knew nothing about until I was there dedicating the next ten days to it. I had heard about it from a wonderful book called Holy Cow, by Sarah MacDonald. She attends a Vipassana retreat while she is in India, and it intrigued me. Ten days of silence. That means no talking, no eye contact or any contact. No writing or reading. Turning off one's thoughts as much as possible. It was a beautiful though grueling experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. :)

My account is a little lengthy, but I like to think it's worth it. :) Enjoy!

Cast of Characters
I never knew the names of many people there until the tenth day when we were allowed to speak again, so I had my own names that I made up in my head. These are the ones I remember, their nicknames, their real names if I remember, and the stories about them.

Dayna – the girl who gave me a ride there and back… my new wonderful friend. If I hadn’t known her name, she would have been Speedwalker or Rocking Girl - She would stand looking at the creek shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Very nice girl, 30 years old. Vegan and Wal-Mart free since January. She also works with Kristy’s stepdad for Environment Canada! Small world hey?

Angie – AKA Yoga Lady – shared a room with Dayna. She is a 39 year old yoga instructor… (I thought they were supposed to be healthy and spiritually balanced and stuff… I don’t know about that anymore.) She eats meat, first of all… but not like the many other people there, and most normal people that eat meat… She seemed angry about the “simple vegetarian meals” that we were to be provided (which were amazing by the way), and about only getting fruit for supper. “FRUIT?!” she exclaimed on registration night, “I don’t eat fruit and vegetables! I eat meat!” She also complained about only being allotted 6 ½ hours for sleep. Ten hours she claimed to require! Is that even healthy?  She also had big issues about having to share a room, “I would have paid $150 EXTRA for that!” Yeah, but that’s not what this is about. Give what you will give. Don’t let it depend on how you feel your amenities have been fulfilled. That’s what renunciation is all about. I was given my own room (for stretching, because of my sciatica and having to sit in one position without moving for long periods), but if this was on her terms, I wouldn’t have got it because it would have gone to the highest bidder. Dayna later said she would blow dry her hair at 4am (when we were awakened by a bell/gong, and was straightening her bangs…for who? Complete separation of men and women, honey! No one cares what you look like here!
On Day 3, I noticed she wasn’t in her spot in the meditation hall for one of the group sits…which is odd because you had to come to those. But her stuff was still there, so she couldn’t have left. At supper, there she was looking disgusted and picking at her leftover portion of tofu stroganoff that I wanted to grab from her ungrateful paws. At the next group meditation her stuff was gone from her spot. She lasted three days. Dayna said her stuff just disappeared from their room too, neither her nor Leah saw her leave. This is after she spent the last ten years trying to get the nerve to come…what a pity.

Leah – AKA Hog Face and other horrible things. She shared a room with Dayna too. I had some rage for this girl at times. Dayna had warned me that I may end up feeling negatively about people around me, and she was very right. It seems that since I couldn’t talk, everything just built up and agitated me…very normal for this process, I understand now. No communication also creates miscommunication, from too many assumptions. Poor Leah got a lot of negativity from me. When Yoga Lady left I saw Leah eating supper – not just fruit…and I thought she had taken the one set out for Yoga Lady, and I was outraged and appalled! How could she?! I’m just as hungry as you are, and that doesn’t belong to you! This goes to demonstrate that miscommunication factor. And not knowing, having that uncertainty about why things were happening was frustrating.
But I learned an important lesson…  On the morning before we left, we stayed to help clean up. I was on kitchen duty and there was a sign… “Special Diets: Angie (crossed out), Leah (crossed out) and Tammy.” So maybe that dinner was hers. Maybe she had been allowed to eat and then went to them and said, “no I will try to do it properly…” and that’s why she was crossed out and ate fruit only like the rest of us the other days. I never asked her. And it doesn’t matter.  My rage has since subsided over the issue.  Leah is very nice.   I regret all that negativity of mine that she had to bear.   She is 27 and works for the police as a crime data something or other… She is also training to run a marathon…20 miles or something crazy.
She told me on Day 10, how I irritated her every breakfast… I don’t usually eat breakfast at all – but knew I better eat something there – I would only have fruit (except for the first and last days when I also had a tiny bit of granola cereal). She said she would be screaming at me in her head, “EAT DAMN IT EAT! You are going to be soooo hungry!!” I, however, did not share my thoughts about her with her…

Ki or maybe Qi (pronounced K-eye) – AKA Giggly Joe. This guy always made my day. He was ALWAYS smiling. Always looked like he was having the time of his life. He would watch other people a lot (so did I, so did Leah…most people just looked down and were very good at pretending they were alone. It's really hard though. The sociologist in me has to watch people.  Anyway, there were also plenty of times I saw him outright laughing, always silently, but sometimes very hard! Afterwards I told him that he always brightened my day and he told me he came there very depressed, and this experience has helped that a lot. It showed. I find it interesting that he found such positive feelings in a time that challenged me so much.

Quinn – probably in her late 20’s early 30s, no nickname, but I noted her mostly for her eating habits. I met her on registration night at supper, and she commented that she comes twice a year to the retreats, and she absolutely loves it – except the food. She despises the food; she likes Vietnamese food. So one day I'm watching her at breakfast. She goes to the table with all the condiments with a bowl. She pours a layer of hot sauce in the bowl. Hmmm… ok. Then she grabs the salt. And starts salting. And continues salting. For a very long time. Leah and I exchanged glances (which is counted as communication and would be against the rules…oops). I got up to rinse my plate and she was still salting, I was beginning to wonder if she knew it was coming out. I walked behind her and peaked over her shoulder at this thick white blanket of salt on the red hot sauce. Oh my! Then she went to her table and took her bread rolled it and stirred the salty hot sauce with it, and proceeded to dip her bread in this concoction. I was amazed. And amused. What an excellent improvisation! Maybe Angie should have been taking notes from her on how to put up with situations that are less than perfect.

Hannah – AKA Comfy PJ Girl. She was always wearing a silk pajama set. She had two or three of them and that's all she would wear. When I talked to her on Day 10 she said she got a room by herself, and has a fear of the dark and of night, and she loathed it.  I told her maybe the Universe saw that as something she needed to work on while she was there. She totally agreed and had already thought of that.

Loretta – sat beside me in the Meditation hall, never had a name for her since I could see it every day in front of her spot and knew it well. I spoke to her on the phone before the retreat, I was supposed to get a ride home with her, because Dayna was supposed to be going to go to her dad’s afterwards, but ended up changing her mind. During one meditation, right near the beginning, she lost it. She started sobbing, to the point that Heather (the female manager came over and asked if she wanted to go to her room… which she declined. What a trooper.

Tomiko – AKA Crying Girl. She also lost it during a meditation too, only she went running out. I learned later that she is Dutch, but her dad wanted to name her this Japanese name, even though he wasn’t into Japanese culture and didn’t know anything about the name. She learned when she was older, that it means spiritually enlightened, or something similar…  Interesting how we grow into our names sometimes.  ...However, she never lifted a finger to help clean on the last morning before leaving, like the vast majority of people did. In fact, she backed her SUV up to the front doors to load her stuff in, slowing, and stopping altogether, the people who were trying to load the dishes and things that belong to the Vipassana organization. Nice.

Patti – very nice lady that I met on Day 10. She teaches at a Montessori school in Saskatoon. She says her friends tell her she’s too extreme. I told her I’d take that as a compliment. After talking with her for some time about Reiki and Vipassana, and other healing techniques, I got her email address. I look forward to keeping in touch with her. She has a very nice energy.

Tammy – AKA Preggo. Pregnant girl who got a meal for supper…and I didn’t hold it against her.  On the last day I learned that her husband was also here. And they are Quakers…which I knew nothing about until I looked it up just now.

Smiley Joe – don’t know his real name. He sat at the back of the hall and when I’d pass him on my way out, he would always have a subtle smile on his face.

Curly – Blonde curly-haired guy who had taken yoga classes from Angie. She saw him and mentioned it, and then a little later he came bounding up to her exclaiming proudly that he knew nothing about what he was in for. I talked to him on Day 10 and told him I'd named him Curly.

Andrew – AKA Funny Hair – A guy that looked about 17 years old. He usually wore a toque, and the first time he wasn’t wearing it, I saw why… His hair was all over the place…and greasy in spots. Funny though, it was. He was always the first one in the meditation hall, and the last one to leave. And he would sit perfectly still at all times. I rarely saw him move at all, the whole time…including opening his eyes. To me, he appeared to be a model student, but according to Curly, Andrew had said his mind was everywhere else, and though he sat still in body, he was unfocused and found it difficult to concentrate.

Cora/Cornelia – introduced herself as Cora, but the name in front of her meditation "nest" stated, Cornelia. Very nice lady who travelled from BC because this course fit her schedule better. She camped all the way here and back…with the exception of sleeping in her car one night because it was raining so hard. She sat on the other side of me in the hall.

Anita - AKA The Nurse – thought she looked like a nurse… and then she wore “property of Royal Alexandra Hospital” pants. And on Day 10, I overheard Leah ask her if she was a nurse, and she said, “yes, why?”, “cause you look like one”.   I jumped in and agreed. She sat in front of me in the hall. She had a beautiful sarong with elephants and Indian print designs that reminded me of Ganesh and brought me comfort (since we weren’t allowed to pray or do or have anything of a religious nature).

Irma – the Indian Lady – the only one. One time when I saw her and thought something about her to myself, in my head I called her “the other Indian lady”… hahahaha… then I laughed at me.

Many Others – One older lady who thought that slapping mosquitoes to try to kill them was perfectly okay (we aren’t supposed to harm any living being while there – that includes mosquitoes). She also came up to me pointing at her wrist to ask the time once. This breaks the no communication rule – gestures count.  However, I learned on the last day that she had never meditated in her life, ever, before coming there.  So kudos to her.   Lots of older men and women, that didn’t look like they belonged there. One of the old men looked like a man I saw at the Temple with Subani the weekend before…he looked out of place there too.   For interests' sake, most of us were white, aside from a large group of Vietnamese people who all seemed to know each other, a couple of older Asian ladies, and the one lone Indian lady.

There were about 40 of us in total…I think 25 women, 15 men, if my counting was correct.  And oddly enough 15 of them reminded me of someone else – sometimes people I knew specifically, or they had other strangely familiar qualities that I couldn’t quite place.   FIFTEEN.   That’s crazy.

Heather – the female manager. Very nice lady. We were supposed to go to her with any issues like comfort, food, etc. Anything material. We could whisper to her whenever necessary.

Mary – the female instructor. She had this Grace about her. She wore beautiful clothes in pastel colours, looked angelic most of the time. And I decided that if Jesus were female, she would be him.  I felt like she should be putting her hand on my head and calling me, “my child”. We could make an appointment to see the teachers during noon hour, or ask questions in front of others between 9:00 and 9:30pm.

Gerry – male instructor. He and Mary are married…Gerry and Mary…funny.  He reminded me of a combination of the store manager at work, Jeff, and a little of my dad’s voice for some reason, just a hint of it in there… (for the tiny bit he spoke), usually, “the new students will stay and meditate with us in the hall, the old students may stay here or meditate in their own residences” and “if there are no questions, take rest”.    It bugged me that he did all of the talking unless a female student had a question – then the female teacher answered…but other all times the group was addressed, it was by him.

S.N. Goenka – the guy in the video. He learned Vipassana himself from Sayagyi U Ba Khin. They had discussed how when Buddha invented this form of meditation, he said it would spread all over the world in 2500 years…and it had been 2500 years. So they wondered, when is this going to happen then?? After practising for 14 years, Goenka taught his mother and father and 12 other people in his first course, in India (he was born in Burma). Then those people told others and people kept coming to him asking to be taught and he couldn’t turn them away, so the courses just came together. He started travelling all over India, and then to other countries teaching many, and passing on this technique. Well who knew he would be the one accidentally responsible for bringing Vipassana all over the world?Interesting.  Especially for someone who was packing his bags on the second day of his first ten day course, until he was stopped by one of the other students, who said, “just give it one more day!”


Things that made me Laugh/Smile
One day, when I was going out of the building Quinn was coming in, and when she opened the door I was right there. She was startled and jumped. It was so funny. We both started to laugh silently and she turned and walked away. And when I stepped outside I saw her doubled over in silent laughter.

At one meal-time after it had hailed (that story is on its way), the hail was still in big piles in some places (and this was the next day!  and it had been very warm outside.  This was summer.) After eating, Ki walked back to the men’s residence, and I watched him walk across the parking lot. He looked down and inspected the hail pile… then touched it, and then grabbed a handful. He continued walking to where I couldn’t see him anymore… Then a half a second later this hail ball goes soaring across the parking lot… I almost laughed out loud. It was so out of place and unexpected.  I needed that. :)

This smelly, dirty, very friendly dog would always come along and make his rounds with us when we'd be sitting outside…getting petted and played with by everyone in turn… On my way outside one day, I saw Heather, the female manager making a sign, “do not interact with…” I thought it was going to say, “the kitchen staff” or something…it turned out to say, “the dog”. But no one had seen this sign yet.  So I go sit down and the dog is doing rounds. Everyone is petting him, and Leah picks up a stick and plays fetch with him for a while, until Heather comes along, whispers something in her ear, and she promptly sits down. (That’s when I knew what the sign was going to say.) But no one else had seen it yet. One lady was walking, for exercise, in circles around the perimeter. She had her tea and sweater sitting on the patio. The dog comes along and grabs her sweater. Takes off with it…shaking it like a rag, dragging it through the mud, rolling around with it, chewing on it… Have you ever seen someone try to communicate with an animal without words? It's incredibly entertaining! Everyone was snickering silently. Some were trying to help. Eventually the lady got her sweater back, I almost clapped. It was among the most entertaining events of the entire ten days.

Bonding with insects. There were two spiders that I played with. One of them even held hands with me! I tapped my finger in front of it and it didn't run away. It just lifted its leg at me. And I touched its leg and it still didn’t run away. So I put my finger down in front of it and it set its “paw” on my finger. I was touched (literally!).
There was another bug that I bonded with, I don’t know what it was. Kinda beetle-like, giant antennae and though it was black, it had white speckles on it back. It had wings but was a very bad flier. It would take off and then fly into something and fall. Entertaining! I named this bug (and every other one like it, Roger. Don’t know why, that’s just what popped in my head when I wanted to name it. :)
On the very first day, when I was about to go to sleep and discovered a fly in my room (that I wasn’t allowed to kill)…I was kind of annoyed so I grabbed my cup and a piece of paper.  On my first try I caught it with the cup and was able to usher it out to the hallway…only to find a second one… but it was okay, because I caught that one too, on the first try again!   Hmm… maybe the insects all knew there was no desire to hurt them for those ten days. (Unless you count the lady swatting at mosquitoes.)

At the beginning and end of the group meditations they would play Goenka singing a chant, with silence during the rest of the meditation. One day, when the teacher put on the end chant, it was a little loud and someone on the guys’ side was audibly startled. Someone started to snicker. Someone else started to snicker. (Both on the guys’ side) Then someone lost it…not just laughing, but all the funny sounds that come out when trying to hold back laughter. Snorts and spits and such… It was hilarious. And I had just had a great meditation (that I will tell you about next) so it made me smile, broadly… and as I was enjoying the moment… then the male teacher yelled, “Quiet!” I was startled - and appalled! Wouldn't a simple, “shhh” have been enough? His yelling gave me a big blast of negativity I didn’t need. But later Goenka (on the tape) mentioned that sometimes it may seem that the teacher is tough, but they have to be to keep you on track, and that it's always done with compassion, kindness and love. (It was very interesting how things would happen – like this situation, and like other things I would think of or wonder about that would be addressed that night or the next, on the evening discourse (the video of Goenka that they played).

One meditation, I was in a lot of pain, but had good concentration going, and something happened… my hands felt like they were expanding. Becoming larger than normal…then the rest of my body followed… I felt HUGE! And everything felt far away. And the pain in my back melted away.
Now flashback to my childhood… when I was little when I’d be falling asleep (and often it was when I was overtired), I would get that same feeling, usually starting with the feeling that everything was farther away than it actually was and then followed by the expansion sensation. And when I would open my eyes, my parents’ clock in their room across the hall would physically appear to be far away…and when I would sit up these feelings would pass. It really scared me the first few times and I didn’t know what was happening (I still don’t, I suppose). And I asked someone about it once and they looked at me like I was nuts, so I said I must have been dreaming and decided to never speak of it again. It happened often enough that I became very certain I wasn’t dreaming it.....and it still happens to this day.
Anyway, flash forward again now… so there I was in meditation and experiencing this again. I think it may be attributed more to my being overtired than to the meditation. But it was cool! And I held on to that feeling for as long as I could. Then that night we learned that even pleasant sensations ‘arise and pass away’ and that we shouldn’t try to hold on to them, just let them pass as they will. Oops.


Things that made me Angry/Agitated/Sad
-Upon first entering the meditation hall, I noticed this *click* every once in a while, coming from somewhere just outside the hall. After very little time I realized that this click sounded every five to seven breaths. At first it really bothered me, especially after a few sits, so upon realizing it wasn’t ever going to stop for the whole ten days, I thought I better get used to it. Eventually I started to use it as my reminder to focus my wandering mind. Goenka had said that if your mind wanders for five or ten minutes before you notice, that’s okay. If it's 20 minutes, then it's something you better work on. I was definitely in the five to ten minute range, and hearing that was encouraging. And this was even before I made the annoying Click my helper. Later on in the week, when I had loads of negativity happening, I would let my mind wander away sometimes for nearly entire sits. I was frustrated and had had enough. Now I see, not only how wasteful of precious time that was, but also how harmful that can be, just reinforcing old habits.

-Hannah opened the curtains just before one of the hour sits started so that I ended up spending the hour feeling my arm sizzle in the sun. However, at one point I opened my eyes (quickly so the teachers wouldn’t see), and though my arm still felt as though the sun was scorching it, the sun had since moved and was not shining on me anymore… hmm…

-Flies, and especially mosquitoes in the meditation hall. After one meditation with a lot of sensations on my hand, I opened my eyes to find SEVEN mosquito bites all within a square inch on my hand. At one point, during one sit with a lot of buzzing in the air, I was getting sensations in my ear and though I knew nothing really went in my ear, I was having flashbacks of that scene in Brokedown Palace when the girl gets a beetle in her ear, and goes all nuts. …and then the rest of the movie played through my head, and I cried because it is such a sad and moving movie.

-There were many people crying during the sits.  I heard some coming from the guys’ side too. It is a very emotional process. There were two times that people burst into tears. Other people crying always made me cry too. I have the (slightly unfortunate) talent of feeling other people’s pain, both physical and emotional, but I also feel others' excitement and happiness so it balances out.

-One time - just after we started Vipassana training – when we had to sit without moving at all… and I was in serious pain, and Goenka’s ramble (telling us what we should be focusing on and whatnot) was playing, and I knew that as soon as he was done we would get to go back to our rooms and I could be comfortable again. I cried silently as he went on and on…normally I loved his repetitiveness. It was soothing and calming…this particular occasion it was driving me nuts and making me agitated and angry.

-The first two entire days…I couldn’t eat. I was so hungry though. And even though I slept well, I was falling asleep during the meditations. I put up with feeling this way for two days (which seemed like an eternity), and then decided I better talk to the teachers. So I made an appointment, even though I felt silly. When my turn came, I said, “I hope I’m not wasting your time over something silly but…” Mary said falling asleep is normal. Your mind likes its cravings and aversions and doesn’t like you telling it what to do, so that’s its way of trying to stop its training… so she suggested going for a walk or something to wake up - but then she added, but not during meditation time... Well then when? That’s when it happens, and I do go for walks in my spare time…so what else? (The rest of the days I decided to sleep in. When the bell went at 4, I would turn on my light, and then at 430, when we were all supposed to be meditating, I would turn it off again. :)  At least this way I could concentrate on my other meditations, so I didn’t feel guilty. It turns out they gave one of the guys permission to do that since he was having issues too.) As for the not being able to eat – about 20 minutes after talking to them, the big knot in my stomach melted away. That night – when Angie was poking at her delicious tofu stroganoff, this is the main reason I wanted to scratch her eyes out for it. I had an appetite again! Finally!! And there she was picking at a delicious meal!

-I knew before I started that I was not to do Reiki while I was there, and if I were to want to take the course a second time, that I have to give up Reiki altogether. I didn’t like this idea, and thought that taking the course would clear up any reasoning as to why this is. Well it didn’t, and that frustrated me, so I asked. And Mary said, “with Reiki you are drawing on energy from an outside source, with Vipassana you are looking inside. If you continue to do Reiki you may end up bringing in energy during Vipassana.” This answer sounded canned and didn’t satisfy me. In fact it angered me. If I was expected to shut Reiki off for this ten day course…then why couldn’t I turn it on and off otherwise? It seemed like this is what they were told to say to this question. Maybe she doesn’t know anything about Reiki. But now. upon further contemplation I think I understand why. Equanimity. If we are supposed to remain equanimous with our bodily sensations then Reiki-ing away pain, is implying to your body that you will satisfy its cravings and perhaps that we require something outside ourselves to obtain perfection - when really we already are perfect - bodily discomfort and all. I don’t think I agree though, with the first part anyway.

Update: Something I find very interesting is that while this was all happening, I kept waiting for it to be over. Stewing in self-pity and longing for normalcy, I thought, this is hell, I will never ever do this again, and I will never recommend it to anyone. But as soon as it was over, it felt different – I felt different. And now, I do miss it. I long for the deep silence and structure, and the remoteness from everything I know…that retreat – not only into nature and away from others, but into one’s Self. :) There’s a lot going on in there, and if we go forward ignoring it, we won’t ever truly understand anything, about ourselves or our world.  We may think we do. But we would be limited without that self knowledge and inner Peace.   I find it interesting that it is in silencing the mind, that inner wisdom appears.


The Weather
The first seven days was rain then sun, then rain, then sun, then rain, then sun… you get the idea. The interesting thing is the majority of the rain was while we were inside meditating, or sleeping (which is great 'cause I love the sound of rain), and the majority of the sunshine was while we were allowed to be outside. It was perfect.
The exception was the hail… the first night (I assume so anyway – I thought it was rain at the time, but when it hailed later I recognized the thunderous sounds.), and Days 1 and 4, it hailed. The second time (Day 1) it was so forceful that some of the hail was smashing as it hit the patio. (I found myself worrying about Dayna’s car.) And the places where it collected heavily (where the eaves emptied) it stayed through the next entire day (and it was HOT that day)…and made for great snow/hail balls...as previously mentioned.

Phrases I heard (often repeatedly) over the ten days:
- “Everything that rises up, passes away”
- “Work diligently, diligently…patiently and persistently…ardently…”
- “Focus your entire attention on the top of your head… top of your head” (said in a very slightly higher pitch the second time, most of the time)
- “Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam” repeated three times…and followed up by us (if you chose) by “Sadhu…sadhu…sadhu.” Meaning, “May all beings be happy” and “Well said, we agree!”
- “Remain perfectly equanimous.”
- “…this god or that goddess…this religion or that religion…this culture or that culture…it doesn't matter…”
- “Shhhhh…” (in my own head…when my thoughts were loud or demanding, and when my mind would wander during meditation.)

Songs in my head:
**My Girl – usually when I was sitting in the sun watching the clouds, because of the line, “I got sunshine, on a cloudy day…”
**Sloop John B – when I was having a rough patch, “I feel so broke up, I wanna go home…” and of course, “this is the worst trip, I’ve ever been on…”
**I Love my Computer – (a Bad Religion song) I’m sure the band would not approve of my actually meaning that, as the song is very sarcastic in that sense…but I indeed missed my computer in a fun and hopefully not too unhealthy way.
**Two Babies in the Dark – another Bad Religion song…which I assume I thought of because it sounds quite similar to I Love my Computer.
**Thank You – a school song – (“thank you, for waking me this morning, thank you, for every sky of blue, thank you, for every new day dawning, I’ll be thanking you.” …or something like that…) during my good moods.
…And of course many others that weren’t nearly as often (or persistent).

Things I learned:
- Twenty minutes can fly by, while one day can feel like a week.
- My mind is very vocal, and demanding, and persistent. It goes on and on and on. And trying to quiet it through things like meditation and a full ten days of it like this, really proves how loud and obnoxious it can be. However, thoughts and thought processes are so interesting, and I enjoyed analyzing them, which is just more thinking, and defeating the purpose of trying to attain some level of mental quiet.
- Yes! Itches DO go away if you leave them alone. I never knew that! Having never broken any bones before this and never having to wear a cast, I was under the impression that itches are there so that you scratch them and that if you don’t, they will continue. I was wron
- Stopping to smell the flowers (literally sometimes) is very important to mental peace. Taking time for those little things that we always miss, has such a calming and grounding effect.

Funny and/or Interesting Stories Goenka told:
(there are sooo many, and I don’t remember most of them) and I don’t know if I can truly do them justice, but I will try) He would always give many examples of everything. :)

-There was a learned man, a professor giving lectures on a ship. One man watched his lecture and then spoke with him after. The professor asked, “do you know about geology?” “No, professor. I have never been to school. I don’t know about this geology you speak of.” “What a shame! Geology is the study of the earth we live on, it is very important! You have wasted one quarter of your life!” The man leaves feeling sad and bad about himself. The next day he returns for another lecture. Again, they speak afterwards. The professor asks, “do you know about oceanology?” “No sir, as I have told you, I am uneducated. I don’t know about these things.” “Pity! Oceanology is the study of the oceans…3/4 of our earth is covered by oceans, it is very important to understand them! You have wasted half your life!” Again, the man leaves feeling so badly… but returns on the third day. After this lecture, they converse again, “do you know about meteorology?” The man sighs, “I have told you sir, I know about none of these things. I am not smart like you.” The professor frowns, “it is the study of weather. Weather is all around us, it effects everything we do, all the time. It is very important to know about weather. You have wasted three quarters of your life!” The man feels absolutely terrible to have wasted so much time, not learning all of these important things. The next day the man comes running to the lecture, “Professor!! Professor!! Do you know about swimology?” “Swimology?? What are you talking about? What is swimology?” “It is the study of swimming! Do you know how to swim?” “Why no, I don’t…” the professor confesses. “Well the ship’s going down, so I guess you’ve wasted all of your life!”

-A woman is distraught by the loss of her baby, she had heard about Buddha and the great things he has done for people, that he is a Holy man. So she takes the body of her son to him, and asks him to wake him. She refuses to accept that he has even died. Buddha says, “Okay. I will help you. But to do this I will need five sesame seeds… you must go to the village and find five homes that will give you a sesame seed. However…the seed must come from a home where no one has died.” She is so excited to have found someone who will help her! So she goes to village to begin her search. From house to house, she finds each is willing to give her a seed, but not one, has ever been without death. And soon it sinks in, and she realizes that death is inevitable, and that it touches everyone. The knowledge and realization of our own impermanence eased her suffering. She returned to Buddha to tell him of her discovery, and to learn more from him.

The Theory behind Vipassana
Human suffering is brought on by our cravings and aversions. We want what we don’t have and we don’t want what we have. All religions agree with this, but none tell you how to get past it. Vipassana is meant to train you not to respond to your mind’s every whim. We should be in control of it, not allow it to be in control of us. Sitting in meditation, and not responding to itches and pains, and even to the good sensations…seeing that everything that rises up soon passes away. And that goes for everything…EVERYTHING in the universe…even stars and galaxies don’t last forever. Long ago Indian sages learned this fact, they knew that our cells divide and dissect themselves “tens of trillions of times per second”. And recently, western scientists have proven this… cells die and are reborn 10, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000 times per second. We are dying every second that we are living. This isn’t a bad thing, just a fact. So if this is the case, why do we spend our lives being angry and generating negativity? If we can live our lives being mindful of the fact that everything will someday pass, it will lessen the cravings of things we want, and lessen the burden of things that cause stress in our lives…because it truly doesn’t matter. Equanimity.  Once we start living this way, “I” and “me” and “mine” melt away, because we realize that we are all One, and petty things like ownership don’t matter.

There are three levels of understanding :
**Devotionally – Believing in something because a wise person, or scripture tells you it is so.
**Intellectually – Understanding it. Doing your own research and knowing that the theory makes sense.
**Experientially – Knowing it.  Experiencing something, and thereby understanding at the deepest, truest level.

Vipassana allows you to know your own Truth experientially.
The Buddha always said, “Don’t listen to what I tell you…learn and know it for yourself.”


1 October 2009