When I was in India, during one of the Q & A sessions with
Swamiji, I asked a question. I don't remember what the question was,
and it doesn't matter now. What I do remember is where it led - to an
answer I have been dwelling on since that moment nearly two years ago.
What happened was my question was mistranslated and when Swamiji
answered and was translated back, it didn't make sense. Others in the
session caught it and corrected the translator, that that was not
what I meant. After straightening it out, Swamiji looked directly at me
and said (in Hindi of course), "Speak clearly if you want to be heard."
My
first reaction was to feel defensive. She misunderstood me due to a
language barrier. What does that have to do with me speaking clearly?
But it was when Kate, my traveling companion and our Edmonton
meditation group organizer, excitedly approached me afterwards with,
"Well look at you! Getting special messages from Swamiji! How
wonderful for you!" ...And then it started to make sense. ...And it's
almost like since then, it has made more and more sense with each
passing day. I think of it and I understand it on a different, new,
elevating and elevated level.
I tend to be rather verbose. This
is no surprise to anyone who knows me well...or not so well. Usually
not in an efficient way either. (I'm also quite fond of sentence
fragments. And starting sentences with "and" and "but", but I
digress...) I tend to ramble on and on and on. I became painfully aware
of this habit of mine when I started dating a former partner. I would start going
on about one thing or another and quickly reach the point when his eyes
would glaze over and I'd realize that he's gone into screensaver mode and isn't
hearing me at all. If I wanted him to hear what I had to say, I had to
make it very concise.
Beyond that, and with other people, it
holds true. I enjoy being able to tell longwinded animated stories, but
there needs to be a place within me from where I can draw less words
with more meaning, and I need to be able to access it on a whim. That
is something I need to work on. I can always do it. I know that. But
it takes me that moment of focus - actually stopping what I'm doing,
closing my eyes, clearing my mind and putting forth the intention. I can't do that
while doing a performance review or dealing with a difficult customer.
And
so! To build this skill I plan on writing more. More random notes
about what is currently on my mind sound like good practice. And/or
more poetry perhaps. That's been idling in me since I was a moody 16
year old, writing some awful (and a few really great) poems and songs.
Yeah, I could get back into that, and it would certainly do me a lot of
good. Good for the Vishuddha (throat - expression, creativity, the
endocrine system) and Anahata (heart - love, empathy, selflessness,
devotion and again the endocrine system, heart and lungs) chakras. Open
and clear the Vishuddha and protect the Anahata. That's what I need to
do.
Sincerely - I LOVE writing. It's shameful that I haven't
realized it fully. Ironically - directly after Swamiji's
visit to Edmonton, and me finally meditating regularly again. Way to go
Trista. Things are moving forward and I'm feeling really good about
the direction my life is headed. Much learning has been happening over
the last couple years and I'm feeling fruition and fulfillment upon
me...as if everything in my life has been leading me to the Here and
Now, and the not-so-distant future.
Good stuff. :)
16 August 2009
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