Please Don Your Own Mask Prior to Assisting Others

A lot of us seem to be under the impression that putting others before ourselves is the noble and right thing to do.  Not only that, but we like to judge others who we witness not choosing to live this way (in that moment of time).  It's all with good intentions of course, and in many cases putting others first is indeed the best thing to do.  But when we deem it as the right and honourable thing to do, and that's the reason we "should" (ugh, I don't like that word), often coupled with not having enough of whatever resource we are offering up, we're setting ourselves up to fail.   Doing this occasionally is okay, but repeatedly, and over time, not so much.

As a wise woman once told me, "Your own cup must be overflowing before you can fill someone else's".  We cannot give more than we have.  When we give of ourselves to our own detriment, eventually there's nothing left.  Not only is this a disservice to ourselves and an affront to the lives we lead, but how do we figure we'll be able to care for others at all, when we have nothing left to give them?

I'm not suggesting that we all become selfish and take before giving all the time.  But we have to remember that we are important too.  We all have needs and desires that deserve to be met.  We have to ensure that we are being cared for... and too often instead of caring for ourselves, we take up the expectation that someone else will choose to care for us, and if they don't, we become bitter, angry or hurt.  And when we don't care for ourselves, and no one else steps up to the plate to meet our needs, we begin harbouring resentment and we become sick.

We invite illness into our bodies when we sacrifice more than we can afford, and even worse when we hang on to the bitterness we create along with it.  I believe this is the cause of fibromyalgia (and other health issues too, but this one is so obvious to me).  Every person I know who has this disorder is exactly the same type of person.  I'm sure maybe some exceptions exist, but of the ones I've met, they are all Givers...at their own detriment.

Why do we do this?  Why are we made to feel that looking out for ourselves is wrong?  that it's okay to allow ourselves to suffer, but allowing others to suffer is not okay?  Let's be clear, I don't feel that it's okay to allow others to suffer either, but we are too quick to forget that we need our health if we are going to be able to do any good for anyone else.  When we give until we are depleted, no one wins.

Take time for you.

Play.
Draw.
Colour.
Write.
Walk.
Meditate.
Sing.

Do something just for you.  Each and every day.

Fill yourself back up, then once you are re-equipped, you can go on making everyone else happy too.